Update:

So I've started reading Salman Rushdie's Haroun and the Sea of Stories.

I like it so far. It has a sentence that will never be used in proper context. It goes, 'So it was that Haroun Khalifa the storyteller's son soared into the night sky on the back of Butt the Hoopoe with Iff the Water Genie as his guide.'

Oh, and I have three followers now! Too bad they're all old ladies.

Kidding. Now I have the feeling I'm not getting anything for my birthday. Or Christmas. Or ever again.

AAAAARGH!

I can't do it.

I know that people were longer-winded in the 1400s, but come on! Erasmus' sentences, dare I say, are longer than Hemingway's! I promised myself I'd finish it, but come on!

Working on it!

I've started reading In Praise of Folly, and by that, I mean I've downloaded it because it's so old it wasn't at the library and it's not copyright protected here in the States.

Here's the first sentence:

'HOW slightly soever I am esteemed in the common vogue of the world, (for

I well know how disingenuously Folly is decried, even by those who are

themselves the greatest fools,) yet it is from my influence alone that

the whole universe receives her ferment of mirth and jollity: of

which this may be urged as a convincing argument, in that as soon as I

appeared to speak before this numerous assembly all their countenances

were gilded oyer with a lively sparkling pleasantness: you soon welcomed

me with so encouraging a look, you spurred me on with so cheerful a hum,

that truly in all appearance, you seem now flushed with a good dose of

reviving nectar, when as just before you sate drowsy and melancholy, as

if you were lately come out of some hermit's cell.'

Ernest Hemingway only wishes he had sentences this long.

My Introductions

My name is Qwerky, and I'll be attempting to invade the internets with literacy, and by that, I mean, attempting to expand my horizons by writing about books.

I'll write about any book you want, but give me a break because I have to finish it first. However, (and this is important), I will only write about standalone books. No, 'Generic Teenager and the Blabbity Blah no. 6'.

No pornography. I'm grateful that you'd suggest it, but I won't review it.

No complaining that I didn't like the book. If I read, oh, let's say, Sparkling Teenage Vampires number 8 and don't like it, and you complain, I won;t be accepting recommendations from you for a while.

No manga/comic books. Same principle as porn. I'm glad you'd recommend it, but i won't review it.

No spin-offs of popular series. This includes, for example, LOST: The Novelization, or books about Spider-Man, Star Wars, or anything beginning with an 'S', 'T', or 'M'. I don't want to read your god damn fan fiction.

Despite this, I may accept an original, unpublished piece of fiction, if only to point out the grammatical mistakes the author has made.

Until I get a request to review a book, I'll be reviewing Classical Literature, like In Praise of Folly.